


5 Times Spock Cheated on Uhura and 1 Time Kirk Helped Her Heal Her Broken Heart and helped her find a happily ever after

by startrekfanwriter



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Being logical doesn't mean being 'good', But I'm sure he's made it all logical in his brain, F/M, From a Kink Meme Prompt, Spock is a dick in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 11:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/811082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekfanwriter/pseuds/startrekfanwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says on the tin...errr...with some extra chapters because I had to make everything logical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta Notesfromtheclassroom.

**The First Time**

It's the evening before Jim's second Kobayashi Maru exam and he can't eat. A few hours later he can't sleep either. Every time he closes his eyes his memories of the simulation chamber bleed together with what he imagines the Kelven's last stand against...against...well, what he doesn't exactly know, just that it was big and Romulan and scary as all hell.

His roommate Bones needs to sleep. Jim knows that his tossing and turning will wake the guy up; so he plays with the curfew monitor on his door a bit. Hitting a few buttons, he lets out a breath as the door opens with a whoosh and the alarm doesn't go off. Then he heads down the hallway to a mercifully low tech window. It's pretty easy to hop from the window to a steel gutter pipe and slide down. It's especially easy if you've done it a lot.

A half hour later he's just beyond campus in a low lit bar nursing a whiskey at the counter. There's an Andorian there a few seats down and she is gorgeous, or cute, Jim can't decide. Well gorgeous from the forehead down, but those antennae, well, they are just too...too...

Well not "too" anything that would keep Jim from taking a shot.

She's putting some credits down and Jim says, "Hey, can I get you another round?"

Turning her antennae unfurl and then curl up again and for a minute Jim is hopeful. But then she smiles and winks. "Sorry, you're too late, but maybe another time."

Jim watches her walk to a booth at the back of the bar. There's a guy waiting there in the shadows. His skin is pale and luminous, the line of his bangs severe across his forehead. Jim's almost positive he sees pointed ears, but maybe that's just the flicker of the small green candle on the table.

He waves a friendly hand in the stranger's direction and smiles. Hey, win some lose some.

The man doesn't nod back or anything, just watches Jim with acrimony so thick Jim can feel it.

Shaking his head Jim turns away as the pretty Andorian slips into the booth across from the guy.

What a prick.

**The Second Time**

Uhura may be a frigid, cold, stuck up, spoiled, African princess, but none of those adjectives fit her roommate Gaila. Gaila swears none of those adjectives fit Uhura either, but Jim's not seeing it, and Gaila doesn't think bad of anyone.

Anyway, Gaila is warm and loving, definitely not frigid and she's got a story as rough and tumble as Jim's. Jim likes her a lot. A whole lot. He might even love her if he let himself admit it. He doesn't believe in no-win scenarios, except the one he's lived, so he can't let himself admit it.

But he'd go to the ends of the Galaxy for her, and failing that even stuffy functions with the brass. He'll wear a tuxedo, and put on his best manners, and resist the urge to mention how ridiculous the Admirals' aides' pretension is.

He's nursing a drink and doing his best too be nice and not to yawn when Gaila excuses herself and heads to the powder room. A few minutes later he excuses himself before he falls asleep on his feet just listening to the Lieutenant Commander drone on about the changes in the boxes that metals of merit come in.

Wondering what's taking Gaila so long he heads towards the long hallway to the loo.

He hears Gaila hiss at someone. "Just because I'm Orion doesn't mean I don't know the meaning of loyalty!"

Stepping around the corner he sees Gaila pull away from The Guy. The Guy who got Jim's Andorian, Jim's positive of it somehow. This time he sees the guy in the light. He's a little taller than Jim, a little leaner, and very Vulcan.

"You all right, Gaila?" Jim asks his eyes trained on the Vulcan guy.

Coming over to stand beside Jim, Gaila says, "Nothing I can't handle." But Jim doesn't like the way she holds onto his arm a little too hard, the way her body seems to shiver a bit.

He wonders what the guy did to upset Gaila so much, but Gaila won't talk about it.

A few months later, Gaila is just atoms of formerly organic matter adrift among the wreckage left by the Narada and Jim remembers her words, and thinks they were for him.

A few hours later he sees Spock kissing Uhura on the transporter pad, and he wonders if the words were for him or for her.

But that's assuming a lot, and not a way to think about a guy whose just lost his world and his mother, or one Jim's life depends upon. And anyway, the other Spock, old Spock isn't like that. Jim's been in his mind and he  _knows._

"So her names, Nyota," he says trying to lighten the mood.

"I have no comment on the matter," says Spock.

**The Third Time**

When Jim see's them at the graduation ceremony and memorial service Uhura's parents aren't what Jim expected. He knew somehow that she went to the Nairobi Preparatory Boarding School, world reknowned as the school for the children of diplomats, celebrities, and tycoons. He'd expected people that oozed money. But they're not like that. They're wearing clothes that are a little too thin, a little too unfitted to be anything but cheap knockoffs of the latest seasons styles. They look like people trying hard to look like they're doing well - and falling far short.

Jim sees a little bit of his mother Winona in Uhura's mother, something about the way even from afar her eyes are sad even when her mouth smiles. And there's something worse than Frank in the way The Man, Jim can't bear to think of him as Uhura's father, looks at her. The Man's eyes are leering and the smile is predatory, not kind.

Uhura doesn't look The Man in the eye when she speaks to her mother. She looks uncomfortable and beaten. And Jim can't stand to see his Princess looking beaten.

Walking over he introduces himself and then says to Uhura, "Hey, I've got something you could help me out with - I wanted to say some words to Gaila's clan, but it would be better if I could say them in Orion. Do you think you could help me?"

She accepts a little to quickly, says goodbye a little to easily to her mother and The Man she only introduced as Chang, not dad, or even as her stepfather.

Putting her hands behind her back shes all business and professional poise as soon as they're out of sight. For the first time Jim thinks that cool nearly aristocratic demeanor isn't offensive it's defensive. His own mother and stepfather aren't here, and he's grateful, and thinks she'd be happier too if hers weren't.

She's felt weak enough for one day. Keeping it all professional he sticks to practicing Orion expressions of condolences. He doesn't ask where Spock is. Spock's father is an ambassador. Maybe he's off being diplomatic.

When Jim's having nightmares again at 2 in the morning he gets up to go for a walk, even though Bones isn't in Jim's new officer's quarters and there is no one to wake with his tossing and turning. He almost forgets he doesn't have to turn off any curfew monitor at his door. Chuckling low to himself he slips out into the hallway. He hears something to his left, soft footfalls. Spock's room - among others is that way, and it suddenly warms Jim to think of Uhura sneaking out after leaving her troubles in Spock's arms.

Smiling he turns, sees a glint of gold hair and a face he recognizes just past Spock's door. Leila Khomeni is her name, a botanist.

He tells himself he's wrong. She came from further down the hall.

"Morning," he says to break the tension.

Not answering or even looking at him she tucks her head and practically scampers past him down the hall.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Intermission**

The lights flicker on in the rec room. "Hang in there, we'll get this fixed," says the ensign who must have pulled a short straw to get to run the obscure late 20th century movie that's been holofied tonight.

Staring down at the popcorn she's barely touched, Nyota feels her eyes sting a little. Spock's not here. He's not interested in these things. The holo is "based on a real story" which to Spock equates to "approximately 97.5% fiction and 2.5% fact." But tonight it aches more than usual. Spock was hurting, and tonight she wanted to be somewhere alone with him, to help ease his pain.

The Vulcan High Command issued an edict that all male Vulcans contribute "genetic samples" to rebuild the race with the most robust, diverse gene pool possible. Kirk and Bones discreetly let Spock know that the medical facilities were at his disposal. But it turned out that "diverse" didn't include human DNA and the High Command let Spock know his contribution was not necessary. Spock hadn't even told Nyota about it; she'd found out second hand through Bones who just assumed she'd known.

The whole thing made her burn with disgust at the Vulcan High Command and made her stomach twist in knots for Spock.

Spock was withdrawn today, bitter and angry - more bitter and angry than normal. Most people can't see it, but she does. It's understandable; she can't imagine being treated as an alien among her own people. Even boarding school with all those rich kids can only have been a shadow of what Spock went through,  _still_ goes through.

Jostling her popcorn, she remembers asking him if he wanted to spend the night with her. He told her he planned to run some experiments in the lab. She knows the experiments aren't vital, and it make her heart fall. But it makes her a little irritated, too. She shakes her head. She has no right to feel this way.

"This is a pretty good holo," says Jim, the only other member of the audience.

At the front of the room the ensign says, "Almost got it figured out!"

 _Das Leben der Anderen_  is good. An East German secret police officer is assigned to spy on the private life of a playwright. The spy expects the playwright to be the stereotype of the decadent artist. Finding instead a man of deep principles, courage, and humanity, the spy falls in love with the playwright – or at least his life, and begins to protect him from the mechanisms of the state.

"It is moving," says Nyota, not looking up from her popcorn. But she thinks she might have to agree with Spock on this one. In real life there is no guardian angel who swoops in to rescue you.

"But what I want to know," says Jim, "is when's the killing going to start? If I'm going to watch a holo on East Germany's secret police I expect more blood. And car chase scenes!"

He's not serious. Nyota knows how much he enjoys tense psychological thrillers based on historical events. He's been her only company in more of these old revival holos than she can count. She tries not to admit that she enjoys his presence, or the discussions they have afterwards...just like she doesn't admit she enjoys his presence at the poker games where he's her only real competition, or when he drops by her table in the cafeteria just to harass her. Of course she dishes it right back.

Rolling her eyes, she throws a piece of popcorn at him. Because damn it, the whole crew is so respectful of him, so in  _awe_. She's respectful on duty. He's a good captain, a great captain. But off duty - well, she's not going to let his greatness go to his head.

Catching the popcorn in his mouth, Jim grins at her.

Not hiding her smile, she says, "Wow, we used to have a dog that could do that."

Putting a hand over his heart in a campy imitation of wounded pride, Jim says, "There's just no impressing you, is there?"

Nyota actually is impressed by Jim. A little more every day. "Nope," she says.

"And what's with you always comparing me to animals?" says Jim.

She doesn't always compare him to animals; he's referring to something that happened only once - the night they met. Then she didn't  _compare_ him to an animal. She suggested he had sex with farm animals, and was just doing her best to repel the annoying drunk he was. She doesn't correct him, just raises an eyebrow and holds out her popcorn.

"Although," he says reaching a hand into the box, "I suppose I have a lot of dog like qualities. I'm loyal. Intelligent. Honest. A great friend."

Putting the popcorn in his mouth, he smiles at her.

Pulling the popcorn close to her, Nyota says, "And you get around..." Because it's the truth. And really it's the only thing that keeps her from trusting him completely, from letting Jim be the good, really good friend she sometimes has the urge to let him be. She doesn't trust that sort of man.

Jim's face falls. "Hey, I don't become romantically involved with anyone on my crew."

Nyota raises another eyebrow at the excuse. "Yeah, what are you running from, Jimmy?" Half the ship is running from something. There are more divorcees and children of broken homes among the crew than she can count. She's glad she's beyond that. She's built herself a home with a stable man right here in the stars.

Not answering he says, "I do enjoy the company of the fair sex while I'm at port, Uhura." She may call him Jimmy, but he still calls her Uhura. She's never asked him to call her anything different; she's not sure why.

Chin tilted down, eyes a good impression of deadly earnestness, he says, "But I'm always honest. I don't lie to them, I don't make them think that I'm sticking around."

The lights of the rec room go dim.

"Fixed!" says the ensign.

Nyota turns her eyes to the screen.

"I'm serious, Uhura," Jim whispers.

Casting a sidelong glace at him, she sees his eyes still on her. Gaila always said that Jim had more depth than anyone gives him credit for, even told Uhura that he was honest and faithful in his way. Of course, then he'd gone and swiped Gaila's computer access codes to reprogram the Kobayashi Maru.

But right now, with his mouth slightly open and his brows slightly drawn, he looks so sincere. She almost wants to reach out to him, to run her fingers down the cheek that's handsome and a map of tiny scars at the same time. Or press her lips there softly...just to reassure him that she believes him, or pretends to believe him, or something.

She catches herself, and draws back repelled. She's spending too much time with Jim and enjoying it too much. He's a lot of fun, but so is Chang, so was her father. Now here she's falling under his spell, just like all the other women in his orbit.

She's got a good man. A good Vulcan man, who reminds her how logical they are for one another. Vulcans don't lie. And they don't get around. And if Spock is often cold...often withdrawn...well, no couple is perfect. And he's had a hard time after all, losing his planet, and his mother, and no Vulcan will take him because he's half human. If she sometimes feels unappreciated, like his fallback girl, well, that's because she grew up watching her mother's overly dramatic relationships. Real relationships are about understanding that you're not going to enjoy all of the same interests, compromising, and not getting everything you want all the time.

Swallowing she says, "Sure, Jimmy." She turns her eyes back to the flickering light of the holo, but she can feel the heat of Jim's eyes still on her.

 


	3. The Fourth Time

It's the night of the Holiday Party. Uhura's in an access conduit repairing a broken circuit in the Universal Translator, and Jim's crawling in after her to drag her work-a-holic butt to the festivities.

He gets just a few inches below her without her noticing. She's got one foot on the ladder step above his head, another braced two rungs up. He watches her long delicate fingers handling a soldering iron and isn't surprised by her grace.

Clearing his throat he says, "It can wait, Lieutenant."

Visibly starting, she lets out a gasp that makes Jim bite his lip. Then she looks down at him, her face haloed by light. "Captain, I didn't see you there."

Her hair isn't in its usual ponytail; it's pulled back low and tight at the nape of her neck. Certainly it is more practical for the job she's doing now, but it is also more elegant. Thank God she's wearing pants; if she was in the standard issue skirt Jim thinks he'd lose all ability to string words together. As it is, in this small confined space, his mind is running off in inconvenient trajectories. Some predictably profane. Some not. He has an inexplicable desire to rest his head against the inside curve of the boot so close to his cheek.

"I'm almost done," she says and he realizes he's taken much too long to speak. "Just maybe about an hour more..."

Sighing, Jim says, "Uhura, it's Christmas, or Hannukah, or Ramadan, or whatever you prefer."

She licks her lips and he finds himself licking his own mouth, suddenly realizing how wet it is. "Deck 6 can live without the UT for a day," he says.

She hesitates for a beat and then nods. "You're right."

Grinning up at her he says, "The Captain is always right."

She raises an eyebrow. "You know I can't respond to that  _appropriately_  while I'm on duty."

Laughing he says, "So pack up your gear and get off duty, Lieutenant." Because he wants her to respond  _appropriately_  to all his comments. Jim knows how leaders tumble, how they can be lulled by their worshippers into believing they are more than mere mortals - and Jim does have worshippers, believe it. Uhura, Bones and Spock are like gravity. Without them he might lose all contact with the ground and float away.

...Or just get blown up by Klingons.

Smiling, she says, "Aye, Captain."

They could climb  _down_ the conduit, walk 50 meters down the hall, catch a turbolift and go to the rec room the normal way, or they can go up ten meters, crawl along a horizontal shaft another 10, and enter the rec room through the service hallway. They go up.

Nyota goes through the hatch into the hallway first. And then she freezes, her eyes focused ahead.

"Hey, move it, Lieutenant!" Jim says.

But she doesn't move.

Curious, Jim pokes his head around and there is Spock dropping his hands very quickly from Christine's temple.

"Why are you here?" Spock asks, sounding almost...angry. His face is a little flushed, his hair a little askew.

"Nyota?" say Christine. In the small, poorly-ventilated hall, Jim can smell the reek of alcohol.

Jim is furious.

If Spock's been unfaithful to Uhura since the first mission, he's been very discreet. Jim's not heard or seen anything of it. And Jim's told himself for the last two years that Spock has  _never_ been unfaithful to Uhura; that Gaila's comment was for him, the Andorian was before Spock was romantically involved with his communications officer, and that Leila was coming out of another apartment...He wants Spock to be innocent. He  _needs_  Spock to be innocent. Jim's built the best damn crew in the fleet and he doesn't need something like this fucking it up.

And then he looks at Uhura and it's not about him anymore.

She's standing immobilized, her eyes glued to Spock, her features a perfect mask of shock and...and this is what really chills Jim...fear.

They're all frozen in place. No one is moving and someone has to, so he does. He pulls himself out of the access conduit and levels his eyes at Spock. "Don't bring this to my bridge," he says lowly.

"Yes, Captain," say Spock and Uhura in unison and Jim wants to kick himself. She's taking Spock's fuck up on herself, and he didn't mean it that way. But of course, she's right, he realizes. It is half her responsibility, too. She's dating a fellow bridge officer.

But he wishes he wasn't Captain, that he hadn't compounded her pain. He can't say that, though. All he can say is, "Chapel, you're with me," and lead the inebriated nurse from the hall. He hopes that helps at least a little.

Jim's walking to Uhura's quarters later that night. He wants to apologize. For taking her off duty. For going up instead of down. For being Captain when she needs a friend. But he rounds a corner and sees Spock outside the entrance to her quarters.

For a moment they stare at each other. They've never been friends, Jim and this Spock. After feeling what he did from old Spock, Jim really wanted to be friends, and he tried. But this Spock is angrier than old Spock. Not that he doesn't have reason to be. Old Spock has confessed to Jim that he too was more emotional, less logical when he was young. It took personal and professional tragedy to make him truly embrace logic - but Old Spock won't elaborate on it.

That personal epiphany hasn't occurred yet with this Spock. His head is tilted down, his eyes are blazing at Jim.

And then Jim hears a whoosh. Spock turns away and then vanishes into Uhura's chambers. There is another whoosh.

Jim walks over and spends a few minutes staring at the numbers stamped into the metal of her door. And then he leaves.

x x x x

Jim never sees Uhura after that, not alone. Oh, she's on the bridge, more haughty and imperious than ever, but he doesn't see her in the rec room on holo nights, alone in the mess, or in the gym. She's hiding in plain sight. He's not sure what to do about it, so he does nothing.

He's playing poker with Bones and Scotty three weeks later in one of the small conference rooms. He's not doing well because he's drinking, but Bones is talking about his 8 year-old daughter Joanna and that always makes Jim drink. Bones is his best friend and Jim tries to keep his mouth shut, and tries not to be judgmental; but it's hard, really hard.

When Uhura comes in and joins the game he's too pissed— emotionally and physically—to do much more than nod and grunt.

A few minutes into the next hand and Bones says, "She's shacking up with the guy she cheated on me with! And what the Hell, I've never even met him, but now he's raising my daughter."

And Jim is going to scream at him, but he can't, or shouldn't, because he needs Bones, especially now that he and Uhura aren't speaking. Or not as friends anyway.

Without a word, Jim throws down his hand and leaves the table.

"Wot?" Scotty says as Jim stomps to the door in what he knows is a grown up temper tantrum. "You're leavin' us, Captain?"

But Jim's already at the door and walking down the hall. He swings into a small kitchenette in the conference room wing, bends over the sink and begins furiously splashing his face with the water.

"What's the matter, Jimmy," says a familiar voice from behind. "It's not like you to run away. Even when you know I'm about to clean you out."

Jim turns around and looks at her. She's leaning in the door frame, but even in that position he can see she's too stiff, all angles and jaunty edges still. And fine. They can't talk about her problems obviously, but maybe they can talk about his, because he's been holding this in for over five years now.

"He always bitches about the guy his ex is seeing," Jim says, or slurs, or shouts, he's not sure. "And claims that he gives a fuck about the guy raising Joanna, but then why the fuck is he here, Uhura? Why is Bones here? He had a choice! He could be down on Earth right now, watchin' over his little girl but he ran away!

"You don't run from your children, you don't..."

Jim sags backwards against the sink and rubs a hand over his eyes. Jim's only faced one no-win scenario in his life, and that was choosing between being beat up by Frank or being beat up in juvie, and he's promised he'll never, never leave any child of his so lost and so helpless.

"Oh, Jimmy," Uhura says.

He looks up at her. She's not leaning on the door frame now; she's standing up straight, arms at her side, and her eyes...her eyes are wide and wet, like she understands, like she  _feels_  exactly the way he does. No one's looked at him that way, not since Gaila, and he's never seen her like this, so soft.

He swallows. And then she comes forward and wraps her arms around him and it's like she's just melted into him. He closes his eyes not sure what he should do.

"No, you don't Jimmy, you don't," she whispers into his neck. And of course  _she_  does understand.

He brings his arms up slowly, but as soon as his hands touch her back, he pulls her in tight, like he's afraid she'll slip away at any moment, or he will. He hears a gasp and realizes it's his own.

"It's okay, Jimmy, it's okay," she whispers.

No one should feel this perfect in his arms. No one should just  _fit_ like this, like she's made to be there, so small, and so strong all at once.

Does she feel this good to Spock? He doesn't know, but there is one thing he does know. "He doesn't deserve you," Jim says. "He doesn't deserve you." Because, really, who could?

As soon as he says it he knows he's doomed. He has the same sinking sensation he did when he realized his father's corvette was going to go over that cliff. He closes his eyes tighter, and tries to hold on, but she stiffens in his arms and then pulls away. His eyes open, and he sees her eyes are still wet, but they're hard again, too.

"What are you talking about?" she says. And before he can answer, she drops her head and says, "Christine was just drunk and...confused...and someone slipped him some chocolate..."

Looking up at him, her eyes narrow and she says, "Just what are you trying to pull? Did you think just because I took pity on you I'd..." She doesn't finish. She doesn't have to.

She exhales loudly, and shaking her head she turns and leaves.

He doesn't answer. He can't. Because honestly, he's not sure what he was trying to do.


	4. The Fifth (and Last) Time

" _Vulcan's don't cheat. She must have been playing around on him when we were at Starbase IV."_

It's a common saying that a lie will travel to Risa and back before the truth even gets its boots on. Jim's felt the truth of these words before, but always to his advantage. He didn't really sleep with half of his Academy graduating class. He also didn't coast by on brains alone – he hit the books and hit them hard. He never corrected those rumors though. Now the rumor mill is grinding two of his best officers through it's wheels and Jim doesn't know how to put the boots on the truth fast - not without keeping things on the bridge from turning into a battle zone anyway.

He looks up from his coffee in the crowded mess. Beside him Scotty sighs and tut tuts. Jim's not sure where the voice has come from. He scowls in the general direction.

But Chapel is walking by and she evidently  _does_  know who was talking because she turns to two young redshirts and drops her tray on their table. "Shut up," she hisses. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Leaving her tray, she spins around. Her eyes meet Jim's and he nods at her. Swallowing, Chapel nods, flushes a bit, ducks her head and leaves the mess.

Jim's communicator buzzes with McCoy's voice.  _"She's awake and stable now, Jim. You can come by whenever you want."_

"Scotty, send me those reports on the warp coil calibration when you're done," Jim says, standing up from the table.

"Aye," Scotty says, but Jim's already on his way out the door.

A few minutes later Jim's outside sickbay, talking to Bones.

"You were right about the hobgoblin," says Bones. He raises an eyebrow. "You'd make a pretty good doctor if you'd put your mind to it."

Jim smirks. "Pretty good?" Dropping the cavalier act he says, "You're treating Spock, right? I don't want him sharing this with anyone else."

Bones nods, "Yeah. You're not the only one. I'd say you wouldn't have to worry, and that it's Spock we're talking about..." He shakes his head. "Green blooded bastard. Who knew that half Vulcans could carry TH319 without developing any of the symptoms?" Until yesterday the only way TH319 was believed to be transmissible was by having sex with an Andorian.

Bones looks through the glass doors of sickbay. "No one but Chapel has come to see her." He shakes his head.

The whole crew knows what she has, and most of them think that it's due to her infidelity, not Spock's. The only place either of them could have picked TH319 up was on Starbase IV. Uhura was with Yeoman Rand the whole time, Jim knows. Rand showed him all the shoes she acquired on leave (and insists Uhura got more). But the Yeoman is on a 3 day shuttle calibration run and isn't there to defend his communications officer.

Patting Bones on the shoulder, Jim passes through the double doors into the main ward. Uhura's on a biobed in the far corner, her hair matted flat against her skull, her eyes closed. Her skin is ashen but there is a red rash crawling up her neck and down her wrists, following the path of her veins, TH319's telltale sign. It's a nasty virus, Jim knows first hand. Untreated it's deadly; even with treatment it's not much better.

At the sound of Jim's feet, Uhura turns her head and opens her eyes.

He remembers when the rash first snuck out from beneath her uniform. The look of disgust and fear in Sulu's eyes, as though by being near her he could pick it up. Jim remembers too how Uhura had gazed at the rash, holding her breath, and then said simply, "Captain, I need to report to the medical bay."

He's often had an opportunity to think about how similar and how different he and Uhura are. Both children from broken, sick homes. But they'd fought back so differently. Jim through petty acts of defiance, drugs and alcohol. Uhura by  _escaping_ , getting straight As and filling out the Nairobi Preparatory Boarding School scholarship application herself. Jim knows this because he's read her file. The school counselor wrote one of Uhura's recommendations for Starfleet, describing intervening to get Uhura's parents' approval so that "one of the most driven, talented, and self-possessed applicants ever seen" could attend Nairobi Prep.

Jim often wondered how Uhura handled being the poor student among all those rich kids. The way Uhura picked up her head and marched to the turbolift on the bridge, head held high as the whispers started – well, now he's seen how she managed. Self-possessed indeed. Strength like that, it takes effort though. He wonders if that's how she's sunk to putting up with Spock. She's just tired...or maybe just so used to being strong she doesn't realize there are times she doesn't have to be.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, breaking the silence. And Jim's not sure why, but his heart sinks. Maybe it's just that he doesn't like to see her like this, so...defeated.

He feels himself go red, and he's not sure why. Because she was a little right? Because when she when in his arms he was trying to make a move on her? He still isn't sure.

"It's alright," he says. He pulls up a chair, sits down and takes one of her hands. It's clammy and hot at the same time.

Staring at their entwined fingers, she says, "No one wants to touch me - or even get near me. Everyone shies away."

"Yeah," says Jim. "I remember that about having TH319. It's like they think they'll get it just by getting breathed on."

Uhura huffs. "So you've had it too?"

Shrugging, Jim says, "Well, you know..."

Uhura meets his eyes.

"Yeah," says Jim. "What haven't I had?"

Uhura huffs again. "But at least you got to have sex with an Andorian to get it."

Jim blinks at the joke and then forces himself to play along. Because if there's two things Jim knows, it's being cavalier and telling jokes to cover up inner hurt. "Yeah," he says. "I'm not sure it was worth it, though...well, except for the antennae thing they do, when they're really excited." Holding up two fingers he curls them and uncurls them, saying, "Bing! Bing!"

Uhura actually looks at him and laughs, and Jim's almost happy.

But then she drops her chin to her chest and stares at their fingers again. "How long, Jim? How many other times has he..." She sucks in a deep breath.

Jim follows her eyes to their fingers. His fingers ruddy and red, too rough. Hers slender and delicate and very soft. He covers them with his other hand. Swallowing he says, "I guess I really don't know how long you've been together."

Uhura licks her lips, chalky and pale from TH319's fever grip. "Since the summer after you joined the Academy."

Jim feels himself go hollow. He's actually been cheated on before, and dumped too, though he never admits it. It was by his first girl friend back in high school, who he just wasn't quite good enough for. He can remember the feelings of confusion, disbelief and betrayal. The feeling that the world as you knew it was completely wrong, and backwards, like maybe everything you believed was something you'd made up in your own head.

"At least since the fall after that," says Jim quietly.

"Oh," says Uhura. She shakes her head. "Gaila warned me...said I shouldn't trust him." She sucks in another deep breath. "I didn't believe her."

Jim's saved from having to say anything by the sound of the door to the med bay opening. Uhura quickly pulls herself up into a sitting position. Her hand clenches his more tightly. Jim turns his head and sees Spock.

Jim's first stands still at the doors for a moment and then he walks to Uhura and Jim. Spock's eyes go to their entwined fingers, and then to Jim's own eyes. Jim expects to see anger, and there is that, but even more, there is fear.

Coming to a stop at the foot of Uhura's bed, Spock says, "Nyota, we need to talk."

Shaking her head, Uhura says, "No. There's nothing we can say at this point."

"Nyota I...you must know..."

"Get out, Spock," Uhura says, her eyes not meeting Spock's gaze.

Instead, Spock takes a step closer. He casts one dark look at Jim. Jim decides to play dumb; he doesn't move.

"Nyota..." Spock says.

And then Jim's had it. It's wrong and goes completely against his principles to get involved in this sort of thing, but really - Spock's brought Uhura to death's doorstep, publicly humiliated her, lied to her probably countless times, and she's still sick. Playing with her mind right now just isn't fair.

"You heard her," Jim says. "Get out."

"Captain," Spock says, tilting his head.

Jim probably should worry about Spock wrapping those pale green hands around his neck again, but the thing is, when Jim's pissed he can't think of being choked, or beaten up, or blown up, and he's pissed now. "Yes, that's an order, Spock. Get out."

Spock tilts his head a little more. His jaw clenches, and for a moment Jim's thinking there'll be another show down. But then Spock just nods curtly, turns on his heel and leaves.

As soon as Spock's out the door, Uhura sinks into the biobed. "Thanks," she whispers, not meeting Jim's eyes.

"Hey, no problem," he says.

But her eyes are already closed and her hand is going limp in his. Jim stares at her for a few minutes. The rash will be gone, and the fever will drop and Jim know there are ways he could make her feel so much better. He remembers Spock's eyes on his. He's already in a love triangle, whether there is any love between him and Uhura or not.

He shakes his head. This is wrong. But he remembers how perfect Uhura felt in his arms, how right, and he licks his lips.

It's not like there's any guarantee that she'll want him. But his heart beats fast in his chest anyway. Standing up, he gently kisses Uhura's forehead.

His feet are feeling light and his heart is feeling heavy as he leaves sickbay and his mind is racing through possibilities. He's not even back to the bridge when he receives a priority one message from Starfleet.

He takes it in his the ready room, Spock beside him. A Federation colony has been destroyed by the Romulans, there's red matter involved, and advanced weaponry that looks like it's out of Nero's playbook. If there's any animosity in the room, Jim's actually pretty sure it's completely sucked out of him when Admiral Pike says, "We're at war, gentleman."

Uhura's not even out of sickbay when Jim receives another priority one call while he's pouring over star charts with Spock, Sulu and Chekov. It's Pike again, with some guy in Starfleet Intelligence gray that Kirk's never seen before, but the metal and ribbons on his front say he's an Admiral, too.

Pike dismisses Sulu and Chekov and then says, "Lieutenant Uhura is being reassigned."

Spock speaks first. "Do we have any say in this matter?"

"No," says the man Kirk's never seen.

"Where and what is she being reassigned to?" asks Jim, but he thinks he already knows.

"That is classified," says the strange man. And if that doesn't confirm his suspicions Pikes next words do.

"But you'll be telling your crew that she's being shipped to Earth for treatment for her illness," Pike says.

She's being reassigned to secret opps. How convenient for SI that she just happened to be sick.

The transmission ends and Kirk and Spock just look at each other and if there is fear in Spock's eyes, well, Jim's pretty sure there's fear in his eyes, too.


	5. Second Intermission

Jim's stumbling into his quarters through the dimly-lit halls. The hallways on all Starfleet ships are always dim now, except when they're on red alert. They're conserving power. He hits the access code and walks into his quarters. He's literally falling into his bunk when his comm rings.

"Don't let that be Pike. Don't let that be Pike," he breathes into his pillow, because Pike or someone else from the admiralty is the only thing that will get him out of bed.

" _Lieutenant Commander Nyota Uhura on subspace,"_  his comm chimes, its light blinking red to signal it's official business.

Well, there is someone else he'll get out of bed for.

He hops to his computer, clicks a few buttons, and there she is. Grinning like an idiot he says, "Uhura, you look great."

And she does. It's been two months since she was transferred, and he hasn't heard or seen anything of her. If there are any lingering vestiges of TH319 in her system he can't see them. Her cheeks look a little flushed, her skin is a deeper shade of brown, the hair framing her face is glossy and full again. She's wearing only a fitted tank top, and maybe she's some place warm, because he thinks he sees the subtle sheen of sweat.

"Thanks, Captain," she says, looking a little uncertain. "I got a message saying you called on official business?"

"I made the official part up; just wanted to know you were okay. Call me Jim, or Jimmy. Turn your head, Uhura, turn your head."

Giving him a funny look, she obliges.

"Now hold up your hair, hold up your hair! I want to see your ears!" Jim says.

"Are you looking for some remnant of the TH319," Uhura says sounding worried. "I don't think any of that rash got to my ears..."

Jim lets out a breath and sits down. Smiling he says, "They're still round! The way SI swooped in and took you away I thought you'd be halfway to Romulus by now with ears and eyebrows and everything -"

He puts an elbow on his desk and rests his head on his hand. What was he thinking; her eyebrows are obviously still round...He really needs to get some sleep, but his mouth is still moving. "You're safe!" He sits up. "You're safe."

"Yes, I'm safe," she says, not smiling.

"That's great!" he says. And he means it. He is glad someone is.

She's giving him that same melty look she gave him the night he was so messed up at the poker game. "Are  _you_  safe, Jimmy?"

Jim tries to summon up his most devil-may-care look. He wants to say,  _You're looking at the savior of the galaxy here, Babe, of course I'm okay._ But it's all he can do to keep a smile. Shrugging he says, "We're okay, Uhura."

Not looking like she's buying it she says, "I heard of what happened at the border. The Enterprise was there. Seven ships, Jim -"

He takes a breath and looks off into the darkness of his quarters, "Yeah, the Enterprise got really lucky." He'd like to say it was his tactical brilliance, but that's really not the truth.

"The crew," Uhura says. "I know there were 15 casualties..." She swallows. "Who...?"

"Do you remember Lieutenant Finney?"

"Oh," says Uhura. "You were kind of close to him...I'm sorry."

"Yeah," says Jim. And then he thinks he knows what she might be asking. "Spock's okay. He's off somewhere doing some top secret stuff in R & D." Spock's actually working with his counterpart, trying to get a jump on the next century's technology, but those details are classified. In the meantime the Enterprise and the rest of the fleet are just nipping at the Romulans' heels, hoping they can give old Spock and company long enough to give them real hope at winning this war. The only reason they seem to be holding on at all is that not all of the Romulan fleet is updated with Nero-esque firepower. Maybe their supply of red matter is limited too, but that's beyond Jim's pay grade.

"Spock's tried to reach me..." Uhura says.

Jim's not surprised. Spock definitely withdrew after Uhura left, even more than usual. He wouldn't even play 3D chess with Chekov or Cupcake anymore, always said he was meditating. Spock was obviously hurting, or  _something_. Jim's not sure if he should say anything, or if he  _wants_  to say anything, so he doesn't.

"Sulu your first now?" Uhura asks.

"Yeah."

Jim looks back at the screen, "You're safe and it's good to know." And because he really doesn't want to talk about his dumb luck, or about listening to the sounds from the other ships as they were hit, or about the letters he's had to write home to the families of fifteen dead crew members - which seems like a lot, but is so little compared to  _seven_ ships...he says, "But I guess I'm not allowed to talk about where you are, or what you're doing?"

She licks her lips and then smiles a fine-I'll-humor-you smile. "You can ask that, Jimmy -"

He waves a hand at the screen and grins. "But you'd be lying. Come on, maybe I can guess." He sits back in his chair and closes one eye, as though looking through rifle sights. "I'm guessing someplace warm..."

"I think I should tell you," Uhura says, "that everything we're saying is being recorded."

Jim sits up and blinks at the screen. He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. He does.

"I guess this isn't the time to talk about your unrequited love for me then, is it?" He's not even sure he's teasing so much as  _testing_. But he winks at her and smiles like the cat that just ate the goddamn canary and is about to burp up a feather.

Her mouth drops, her eyebrows knit together. And then she smiles, a wide, wicked, evil smile. "You mean, that time in the turbo lift meant nothing to you, Captain?"

The way she purrs out those words, it's turning him on, and he's knows he's in deep trouble. "Wuh?" he says, possibly winning an award for least witty repartee ever.

"Mmmmmm..." she drawls. "I never knew it could be that good..."

Swallowing, he says, "Um?"

She smiles, "...but I guess it's what my roommate always said, men with small -"

Scowling at the screen Jim says, "Wait! No! We never had sex! Do you hear that, monitors? We never had sex! She's making it all up!"

Uhura breaks down in peals of laughter. Jim stares at the screen kind of impressed, but simultaneously too angry to speak – everyone knows you just don't joke about a guy like _that,_ when the klaxons go off.

Jim doesn't even bother to cut the transmission and that's why he hears Uhura yelling, "Be careful!" as he's running to the door.

x x x x

" _Lieutenant Commander Nyota Uhura on subspace,"_  Jim's comm chimes two weeks later. Subspace communications have just been reestablished. The light blinks red.

With a groan, Jim picks it up.

"You look terrible," Uhura says. "Are you alright?"

"Thanks," Jim says, "and I'm fine." But just barely. He rubs the recent dermal repair job on his arm.

"Now what was that official business you were calling about?"

"That was all," she says.

Uhura doesn't look terrible. She looks better than ever. Like she might have put on a little weight, in a good way. She looks like she's been getting a lot of sun, and probably some training, too; the weight she's put on is toned and firm. He tilts his head; her muscle tone looks - organic.

"I should go," she says.

But they wind up complaining about the latest movies that have been holofied and released to the fleet - fluffy, cheerful, situational comedies that are really popular but sweeter than Ferengi taffy, and even less filling. They harp about this latest strategy to improve morale for at least an hour.

x x x x

They talk off and on for almost a year. Sometimes he calls. Sometimes she calls. And then one day she just doesn't answer his latest message. He's not too worried. No Federation worlds have been invaded since he last heard from her. And then Spock calls him. His comm light is green, telling him it's personal. Jim can't imagine any reason Spock would call so he picks up.

"Do you know Lieutenant Commander Uhura's whereabouts?" Spock asks. His posture is exceptionally rigid.

"I haven't known Uhura's whereabouts for over a year," says Jim. Although he has a very good guess. It was definitely some place warm, and he suspects it has higher gravity, too.

"But you are in contact with her," says Spock. And instantly Jim knows Spock is not in contact, although he obviously knows where she is – or was.

"What do you know?" Jim says.

"Only that she was...safe...until a week ago. Presumably, code breaking, but now she has vanished."

Jim sits up. He never talked to Uhura about what she was doing, although he presumed it was code breaking, too. He always just joked that she was sitting on the beach somewhere weaving baskets while he was getting shot at by Romulans.

"You know more than me then," Jim says.

Spock quirks an eyebrow, and Jim thinks he sees the ghost of a smug smile.

After the transmission ends, Jim thinks about his last conversation with Uhura. He'd been griping about the trickle of intelligence he'd been receiving. Going off on the "basket weavers" for not weaving fast enough.

Now that he thinks about it, she did look a little hurt. She said, "I'm sorry, Jim, I have to go." But then she'd hung there on the line.

"Don't worry," he'd said. "You'll see me again. I'm not so much a dog as I am a cockroach. You just can't kill me."

"Can I have those awesome cockroach powers?" she'd asked. But then a priority one message came in from Pike and he didn't have time to answer.

Jim sits back in his chair. He knows in his gut that she's not safe anymore.

A few weeks later the Romulans open up a second front with the Cardassians - thank God for the stupidity that comes with perceived superior fire power. It's not like Jim thinks the Federation will win as things stand now, but at least they have a little more time.

Presumably to get a foothold closer to Cardassia, the Romulans attack a little backwater planet called Bajor and Jim and his crew are sent to intervene. These Romulans do have Nero-esque firepower.

The Enterprise goes down and Jim can't think about anything for a while.

 


	6. On Earth (Part 1)

 

Jim's back on Earth walking through the halls of the Sofitel San Francisco, tugging at the collar of his dress uniform. He comes to an elevator bank and hits a button.

It's two months since the war is over and four years and nine months since fighting began. Jim didn't have much to do with ending the war. He spent the last three years as a guerrilla leader on the backwater planet of Bajor. He's not sure he accomplished much, and it was dirty, and unglamorous - hell, his nickname was The Roach. But he has the respect of the Bajorans and the Cardassians, and that may help him get his next gig: commander of the Deep Space 9, the space station that's being built at the mouth of the wormhole that's just opened over Bajor.

The wormhole opens up to what they're calling the Gamma Quadrant. Jim's wants to be there to greet any baddies or friendlies that come through. Now that the Federation is mostly broke and all missions of pure exploration have been curtailed, it's just about the most exciting job in the universe as far as Jim is concerned.

He's going to a Diplomatic Corp brouhaha tonight to shine his face on the Admirals milling about in attendance. They'll be choosing Deep Space Nine's commander. It's the kind of politicking he hates, but he has something he wants and when he wants something Jim can put up with just about anything, hitting the books, getting sent to ice planets, facing torture, or starving in long Bajoran winters.

But right now he has a little time before the show and there's someone he wants to see.

The war was ended by a crack team of Federation agents that infiltrated the facility on Romulus where the remaining red matter was stored. They rigged it to blow. The enemy surrendered, no terms, no conditions.

The names of the crack team aren't being released, but Jim's got a pretty good idea who one of them is. She's here now, in this hotel, going to the same diplomatic party that Jim's going to, and why not just stop by? They're friends. Or something. He's not sure, but whatever it is, it's good.

The elevator in front of him pings and the doors open. Jim steps in. The elevator is mirrored and Jim rubs a hand across his face, checking his shave.

He's too thin. The last couple months on Bajor were as close to living hell as he can imagine, and he didn't have enough to eat. He still hasn't put all the weight back on. He thinks his head looks too big for his too skinny body, like a puppy that hasn't grown to full size yet. Not the best impression for the admiralty, but he can't help that much.

He's got competition for the job. Spock the younger, who headed up R & D with old Spock. R & D did as much as the crack team did for ending the war. There's talk of holo devices that project solid objects, machines that can replicate the atomic structure of just about anything, and cloaking devices.

Young Spock will be here tonight, too. Jim's not spoken to him since Uhura disappeared. Jim has heard from Uhura, even though he hasn't seen her. She sent him an email a few weeks ago. Said she was so relieved to know he was alive - she heard he was he coming to this Diplomatic Corp thing tonight and was so happy because she'll be here, too.

He smiles at the memory of her little note as the elevator comes to a halt and he gets off.

He's seen her Starfleet records. When Starfleet picked him up it was one of the first things he dug into. There's nothing about SI, just a mention of her staying at Starfleet's main hospital and then being honorably discharged, and then, well - she just disappeared completely, literally, from the face of the Earth.

Looking forward to teasing her about basket weaving, he heads down the hall.

He comes to her door, and since it is the old fashioned type he actually knocks. A heartbeat later it opens and for a moment Jim has a bit of cognitive dissonance. There's a woman standing there, and she could be Uhura's sister, they look that much alike, but the thing is, she's Vulcan.

For a moment he thinks maybe she's playing a gag on him, that maybe it's Uhura in make up, but the Vulcan woman's face is so severe.

"Uhura?" he says but it comes out as a choked whisper.

"I am T'Elle, her aide. You may come in." She moves aside so Jim can slip by.

Stepping in, he stops short. It's not a room, it's a suite. There's a hallway lit by natural light and doors heading off in both directions.

Turning and motioning down the hall, T'Elle says, "They are that way."

A comm chimes somewhere. "I must get that," T'Elle says and disappears through one of the doors.

Jim walks down the hallway, his bluster a few minutes ago completely sucked out of him. Aide? Suite? What's going on?

And then he hears voices and comes to a complete stop.

"You know I have never lied to you." It's Spock's voice and it takes a little more wind out of Jim's sails.

Drawing to a corner, he peers around into a large living area, surrounded by floor to ceiling glass windows. There's a rare sunset without fog, and the sky and clouds are painted with deep purples and and oranges. Uhura is standing, back to him. She's wearing a lavender gown that's made of something light and fluttery. It complements the purple in the sky perfectly. The gown dips low in the back but has finger width crisscrossed straps that highlight the delicate muscles and bones of her back. The wide expanse of smooth skin there is back to the color of cafe au lait.

Hoovering next to her is Spock, wearing SI gray. If he sees or hears Jim he doesn't acknowledge it.

Uhura says something Jim can't hear and Spock draws back a bit. "I made mistakes. I will not make them again."

Jim lets out a low breath. He could just barge his way in here and pretend that he doesn't realize that this is a private conversation.

Tightening his jaw, he looks down at the carpeting, plain and beige and shocking in its immaculateness.

What is his objective?

He takes a breath. He has no clear objective, and that is reason enough for it not to be his business. Turning quietly he walks quickly back down the hallway and through the still open door.

x x x x

Standing in the reception hal, Jim swirls his drink in his glass and wonders why Bones picked tonight of all nights to reconcile with Johanna. And why aren't the Bajoran and Cardassian ambassadors here, or even Pike?

Taking a drink, he tries to smile nicely at anyone with lots of ribbons on his or her chest - doing his best to keep his eyes up in case of the latter. Once he was the savior of the galaxy, and people would flock to him, but apparently not anymore

Feeling suddenly alone and out of his league, he's about to head back over to the bar when Uhura comes in.

She's flanked on both sides by Vulcans. T'Elle on her left, Spock and Sarek on her right - and there is Admiral Berret and Admiral Komak close behind, too.

Spock is saying something to her and she looks deep in thought. Her eyes lift in Jim's direction; then she look down again, as though she hasn't seen him, as though he doesn't exist. Then she looks up quick. Uhura's eyes widen and something like a frown crosses her face. Jim's about to turn away in disgust when she smiles, a huge warm hello-how-are-you-what-are-you-doing-over-there smile. She waves at him and actually bounces a little on her feet.

Sliding his gaze to the side, Kirk catches Spock's narrow-eyed look. Spock's got ambassadors and admirals in-line for him obviously, but Jim's walked into the line of fire before for a friend.

Smiling his widest, cockiest smile, he hold his head up and walks towards the firing line.


	7. On Earth Part II

 

Jim's about a meter away when Uhura says, "Captain James T. Kirk," with a wide smile.

"Jim?" says Admiral Berret.

"Is that you?" says Admiral Komak.

And suddenly Jim realizes he must look a lot worse than he thinks. And he feels like what he is; a rough, scrawny grunt among ambassadors, ambassador's sons, and admirals. But he smiles anyway and holds out his hand to the big wigs.

"The Roach," says Spock. The line is delivered low, without inflection, but Spock's gaze on him is a little too hard. It's a fact and an insult wrapped up together in a pretty package.

"What?" says Komak.

Jim looks down, jaw locked in a smile.  _Some of us didn't have desk jobs during the war_  is on the tip of his tongue and he's biting it back.

"Oh! That was you?" says Uhura.

Jim looks up and blinks, because she knows it was him; he joked about it in their little email exchange. "Yeah?" he says wondering where she's going with this.

Coming forward, Uhura slips her hand around Jim's forearm and smiles brightly at the admirals. "Gentlemen, this man alone is credited by the Romulans with uniting the Bajorans with Bajor's persecuted Cardassian minority."

Jim tilts his head; okay, he might have had a hand in that. But, really...the Romulans think so?

Uhura smiles. "That's quite a bit of cross species diplomacy, Captain. It's not good for your shoot 'em up reputation!"

The admirals laugh and Jim can't even look at Spock, because he swears he can feel the fury rolling off the half Vulcan in waves. He cocks his head and says, "Well, I'll do what it takes to win. Even if it means being diplomatic."

The admirals laugh again.

Releasing his forearm, Uhura says, "And the uprising on Bajor cost the Romulans the equivalent of 792 billion credits."

Jim keeps his smile. He has no idea if she's making it up.

"792.47 billion credits," says T'Elle, coming to stand by Uhura.

"Oh, that's right," Uhura says, tapping her lip. "And how many agents did they put on the ground on Bajor? I believe it was 4,035."

"4,045," says T'Elle.

"Of course, of course," says Uhura, closing her eyes and raising a finger as though she's admonishing herself for getting it wrong. Jim blinks. Uhura's too meticulous to forget these details - if they're true. She's putting on a show to let his accomplishments sink deeper into the brasses' minds.

She's fluffing him. In public.

He tries to keep his jaw from hitting the floor.

"It's no surprise you don't know," Uhura says to the admirals. "These details come from the reports of the Romulans themselves. Most haven't been translated into Standard yet."

The admirals blink.

Shaking her head, Uhura looks at Jim. "The accomplishments of R & D and our agents on Romulus so often get touted. But if it weren't for the rebellions staged on dozens of worlds, if it weren't for our men and women fighting on the front, we - our intelligence and R & D would have been worthless."

Admiral Komak comes forward and starts pumping his hand. "Well done, Jim," he says. And Berret, says, "I suppose we should have expected as much from you."

Stepping back, Komack smacks Spock on the shoulder. Spock blinks. Komak says, "And now you and this guy are up for the same job! So good to know we're choosing between

Starfleet's finest for the Deep Space Nine position."

An almost smile on his lips, Spock tilts his head at Jim. "The position at Deep Space Nine offers much opportunity for scientific discovery, and the potential for the discovery of new technologies with each new species we interact with. The risks posed by such new technologies and species may be great as well. The commander of the station will have to be able to be able to evaluate such threats quickly and logically."

It's Spock speak for  _I-am-so-much-smarter-than-you_. "I'll just have to get me a damn fine science officer," Jim says trying to keep his smile on.

"Oh, look," Uhura says. "Aren't those the Bajoran and Cardassian Ambassadors? They'll be interacting with the new Deep Space Nine commander a great deal. I would really like to meet them."

Jim looks at her. She's smiling and it's sweet and wicked and wonderful all at once. "Well, I happen to know them," he says, finally getting in the swing. "They served with me in the Bajoran resistance. The Bajoran ambassador even invited me to her daughter's wedding."

"As the groom?" says Berret.

Komack laughs and Jim winks. "Now gentleman, my reputation may be  _somewhat_  overplayed."

"Would you introduce me to them?" says Uhura, taking his arm again and God he loves this woman.

"Of course," says Jim. He nods at the Admirals, Sarek, whose face looks...thoughtful, and Spock, whose mouth is set too firmly neutral. Spock looks like he's about to take a step forward, maybe even ask to join them. But before he can, T'Elle steps in front of him and says, "Now Mr. Spock, I would like to hear more about the researchers serving under you. I believe they were primarily Vulcan, am I right?"

Jim can't really think about it because Uhura's squeezing his arm and pulling him across the room. Everyone is looking at them, or maybe just her, because she does look beautiful this evening, even more than usual, in the lavendar number, with her hair swept back. Jim has a feeling like vertigo, or like he's flying, and he knows this is how it is meant to be: the two of them together, maybe giving each other a hard time in private - Hell, he could never respect her if she didn't, but in public a team ready to take on the galaxy. This woman makes him a better person. This woman makes him a stronger person. And suddenly he  _wants_ something besides just Deep Space Nine. Maybe even wants it more.

He ducks his head closer to her; he can smell her perfume and her shampoo and  _her._ It makes him feel a little heady but he manages to speak. "Thanks for the hand back there."

She stiffens a little bit; her eyes go hard. "You deserve the job - now don't blow it."

Smirking, he whispers, "You mean, no fights at the bar tonight?"

She smiles, doesn't answer that, instead says, "T'Elle said you stopped by. Why didn't I see you?"

"Spock was there. It seemed like a private conversation. I didn't want to interrupt."

Her jaw tenses. "I wish you had."

He squeezes her arm tight and says, "I promise you I'll never  _not_ barge in again." She laughs and he's wonders if he knows how deadly serious he is.

All eyes seem to be on them, and he whispers, "You look great tonight."

She looks at him, and her eyes, they're all melty again, and Jim thinks his knees are going to go to rubber.

"You..." she starts to say.

"I look like shit. I'm getting that," he says with a shrug, but he doesn't want to talk about it. "I'm fine. And I really want to hear about what you've been doing these past few years, besides  _basket weaving._ "

He winks and she smiles, but before she can answer, up ahead, Nolack, Jim's friend and the Cardassian Ambassador calls out, "James! I was blinded by the loveliness of your companion and didn't see you."

And then Jim's making introductions and everyone is talking about the new station, and it's the type of chit-chat Jim can handle, and Uhura definitely can handle. She knows a surprising amount about Deep Space Nine.

There is a sound like someone hitting crystal with a fork, and then an older guy, gray haired and in a white robe moves towards a podium Jim hadn't noticed before.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," he calls from the podium and Jim and the room go quiet. "As head of the Diplomatic Corp I'd like to welcome you all tonight..."

He drones on and on, a little about Jim, a little about Spock, about diplomacy and how important it actually was to the ending of the recent conflict - which makes Jim rolls his eyes. Boots on the ground and in the lab ended the recent conflict. Anyway it's all stuff Jim has heard before, but he's happy, and perhaps not so subtly edging closer to Uhura. He's just figured something out something, big and important, and it makes him feel woozy and complete. As soon as old guy stops talking he's going to go for it. Maybe ask Uhura to get a drink with him later...play it by ear from there.

And then the head of the Diplomatic Corps says, "And I'd like to announce a new position among the Diplomatic Corps, Ambassador to the Gamma Quadrant."

Jim blinks. This is new and may concern him.

"The Gamma Quadrant Ambassador will be stationed on Deep Space Nine."

There are murmurs, and glancing around the room Jim notices Spock is staring hard at him and Uhura.

Looking back towards the podium, Jim grumbles, "Just what I need. Some bureaucratic PADD pusher looking over my shoulder." Hey, he's among friends, why pretend?

The man at the podium says, "The new ambassador is here tonight. She has a Doctorate in Applied Linguistics from Oxford University, and has a deep interest in studying the effect of the Romulan occupation on Bajoran slang..."

"How delightfully obscure," says Nolack.

Jim snorts. Uhura draws away from him slightly.

"...Which I'm sure she'll be able to pursue while at Deep Space Nine. She speaks over 12 Federation Languages, Bajoran, Romulan - all three dialects I'm told, and Cardassian being just a few. And she also has experience in Starfleet."

Jim suddenly feels as though the air pressure in the room has dropped precipitously. He hazards a glance in Uhura's direction.

"You may have helped save the galaxy from Romulans,  _twice_ " Uhura whispers. "But you are still a child." She heaves a breath. Frowns. "Good luck, anyway."

The gray-haired guy says, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Dr. Nyota Uhura."

Jim's eyes go wide. He remembers her dark chocolate skin, the musculature so natural it only could have come from living on a high gravity world - like Hell, she spent the war in cold gray Oxford. And suddenly he knows, she's  _still_  working for Starfleet Intelligence. She's not just going to be some bureaucratic PADD pusher. His stomach twists. He could not be any more in love with her...and he just really fucked up.

His mouth opens, but before he can say anything, Uhura smiles at the crowd and makes her way to the podium as though nothing is wrong, as though the whole world didn't suddenly collapse down upon itself.

Jim looks at Nolack and the Bajoran Ambassador. They're just blinking at him.

Jim looks up to Uhura, and scowls as she begins addressing the crowd with a professional easy smile in that sultry voice of hers.

There he was, thinking about all she could do for him and all his interests, not thinking about  _her_  and  _her_  interests. This...is a setback. But he knows what he wants now, and dammit, he's James T'Kirk and he doesn't believe in no-win scenarios.

 


	8. Happily

Deep Space Nine is not complete yet. In the Palace of the Bajoran High Premier, Ambassador Nyota Uhura, sits at the desk in her borrowed office and stares down hard at the data on her PADD.

A breeze blows through the open window, warm, fresh and heavy with the recent rain.

Nyota squints hard at the numbers. Not seeing what she wants to see, she plugs in some ear buds and begins listening to the static.

Nothing.

Threading a finger through a loose curl by her ear, she pulls and lets go. The gentle sensation of her hair recoiling against her scalp makes her sit up straight and frown. The nervous habit of playing with her curls is oneof the reasons she straightens her hair. The other reason is that straight hair is predictable, orderly, easy to manage. Put it up in a pony tail and you're done.

But today she got caught in the rain on her way to work. She can feel her hair sneaking into rebellious and unpredictable waves and ringlets at her crown. She's afraid to look at the pony tail, now low near the nape of her neck. There her hair is undoubtedly a giant puff of frizz.

There's a low click in her ear buds. Quickly pressing the buds tighter to her head, she hits a few buttons on her pad. The sound augments and she's listening to some Ferrengis discuss latinum. She sighs.

"I detect nothing of the Dominion in the readings from the most recent Gamma Quadrant either," says T'Elle, guessing the reasons for Nyota's disappointment.

T'Elle knows Nyota very well. They served together on Romulus during The Operation. Disguised as Romulans for two years, they operated a safe house for Federation agents, their similar features making it easy to pass as family.

In two years even Vulcans open up a bit, especially if they are unbonded. Nyota trusts and respects T'Elle. What's more, she likes T'Elle very much. Which is why when Starfleet Intelligence put her up for this posting she insisted on T'Elle as her assistant.

"Our surveillance is so limited right now," Nyota says, and their efforts to find the Dominion, identified by Spock the Elder as the worst threat from the Gamma quadrant, are hampered by it.

"When the space station is complete, we will have more data to work with," says T'Elle.

Nodding, Nyota reaches towards a half empty, luke-warm cup of Lar on her desk. It's the Cardassian equivalent of tea, and she's become addicted.

Looking up from her own PADD, T'Elle says, "You require more refreshment. I will go make some."

"You don't have to do that," Nyota says.

Rising from her chair she says, "No, I do not." She turns and leaves the room and Nyota smiles at the matter-of-fact Vulcan woman. T'Elle does this every morning at 10:00 without fail.

Standing, Nyota stretches and then falls back down into her chair. She bends over the PADD again.

"Hey, I'm going to a Bajoran wedding tonight; wanna come?"

Almost dropping her PADD, Nyota looks up to see Jim Kirk leaning on the frame in her doorway. He's put on some weight, thankfully. When she looks at him she doesn't have to hide her worry, doesn't have to think too much about what he went through here on Bajor. She may have lived two years constantly afraid, but he did too, and at least her belly was full.

"Well?" he says, leaning against the door frame. He's in the familiar command yellow, but his blue eyes are blinking through wire rimmed reading glasses, and his dark blonde hair is a little mussed in front. He's been pouring over the space station schematics again, she can tell. In the week she's been here she's hardly seen him, he's a virtual whirlwind, busy overseeing the construction of the space station. She's seen him like this before, when he got command of the Enterprise, and at the Academy, too. Oh, at the Academy he put on an air of false bravado, but Nyota caught him plenty of times hiding out in the book stacks, nose buried in original sources. The act of feigned indifference to his studies used to make her furious. The truth is, when he wants something, Jim Kirk is a man on fire, completely single minded, driven, not at all afraid to roll up his sleeves and go the distance. Heaven help anyone who tries to get in his way.

She looks down at her PADD. A Bajoran wedding...it sounds interesting...but with Jim? She prefers him in clearly defined circumstances and settings where she knows the terrain. "No," she says, licking her lips, "I have a lot of work to do."

"Oh, come on," Jim says. "Even I know when to take a break. And this is a great opportunity to hear lots of slang left over from the Romulan occupation..."

She looks up. He's not leaning on the door anymore. He's standing upright, his glasses are off, he's a little closer to her desk and he looks, well, pissed. "Or was that just some feigned interest you made up to pad your CV and make yourself sound all academic, or something?"

"What?" Slamming her PADD on her desk, Nyota stands up fast. "No!"

"Then prove it!" Kirk says.

She can feel her temperature rising, but the truth is, it is a great opportunity. Bajoran weddings are family affairs and a great place to see people acting natural. It will probably be years before she's befriended anyone well enough to be invited to one again.

Narrowing her eyes, she says, "Fine, I'll come."

His posture relaxes immediately. "Great, I'll pick you up at 19:00."

She scowls at him, but he turns around so fast and is out the door she's not sure he noticed.

Flopping down in her chair, she picks up her PADD and threads a finger through a curl.

"By the way..." She looks up and there is Kirk, head poking in her doorway. "I like your hair like that." He makes a crazy curly motion with one hand. "It's softer. More natural."

He just can't stop, he hasto add insult to injury. Narrowing her eyes again, she says, "Get. Out."

But he's already gone. From out of sight his voice echoes down the hall. "See you at 19:00!"

She huffs and gets back to work.

Later she's with T'Elle in the powder room. They're straightening their hair after a walk outside during their lunch break - Vulcan hair does in fact get rumpled, especially on a windy day. Nyota's own hair... she tilts her head. Actually, even with the windblown look it's much more flattering than she expected. Where it's pulled tight over her head the tiny wavelets are giving it a nice texture. And the horrible frizz she imagined in the back is more a soft black cloud of curls.

She's just tucking back a few errant strands when it hits her.

"I'm going to a Bajoran wedding...on a date...with Jim Kirk."

T'Elle looks at her. "A fascinating opportunity to hear examples of Romulan slang among native speakers."

"But I'm going … with Jim Kirk. He...tries to sleep with everyone." Well, except with his crew; he never messed up that rule of his, but Nyota's not even remotely under his command now. Where exactly does she stand?

T'Elle stiffens, tilts her head. "Do you think your person is in any danger?"

Nyota shakes her head. "No, he's not like that."

T'Elle's frame relaxes and she turns back to the mirror. "Then there is no problem."

Nyota sighs. "You don't understand. It's obnoxious...he'll ask..." She rolls her eyes.

"Then say no," says T'Elle patting down the traditional Vulcan robe she's wearing and exiting the room.

Nyota frowns. Vulcans, even those who bend their logic in moral directions, are not ones for empathy. Those who bend their logic towards immoral aims...she shakes her head.

x x x x

Later that evening as she's getting ready to go, she realizes just how elegant Kirk's little trap was. Coming by when T'Elle wasn't around - that had to be premeditated. And then the fact that it's a wedding...of course Nyota's going to make every effort to look her best.

If he thinks this evening will go anywhere he is quite mistaken.

She's actually a little perplexed though. Why now, all of a sudden, is he making the attempt?

Maybe it was the way she helped him get the position of Deep Space Nine Commander? Well, she might have been a little extra protective because of Spock's derisive comment, "The Roach." Even the memory of it makes her feel ashamed that she had ever been involved with Spock, that she ever let him into her heart or her bed. There was Kirk, looking for all the galaxy like a man recovering from radiation sickness, and Spock kicked him when he was down, without sympathy. It was a maneuver of jealousy - logic uniformed by morality or empathy for Nyota's feelings on the matter.

She shakes her head. But mostly she was acting on cold analysis of the facts by Starfleet Intelligence. Kirk is the right man for the job. Spock is a genius, but his ability as a leader, especially of people of diverse backgrounds, is suspect. What's more, Kirk has the support of both the Bajorans and Cardassians, and in this sector that is an immense benefit - especially since in the other Spock's universe the two species had been at each others' throats.

She checks her appearance in the mirror one last time, smooths down the front of the dark emerald green dress she has on and straightens the gauzy translucent sleeves. Translucent is acceptable on Bajor, sleeveless would not be. The top is fitted, extremely fitted, which again is appropriate here, although showing skin is frowned upon. The bottom is long but loose, layers of a cotton-like fabric with a soft sheen and more gauze. She hasn't straightened her hair. She's just pulled the pony tail up into a neat bun at the nape of her neck.

The doorbell rings and Nyota goes to answer it. Completely expecting Jim to be wearing his trademark smirk, she's a little taken back by his appearance. He's smiling, but it's more the smile he had when the Enterprise first launched after he was given his captaincy, like he's happy, confidant, but can't quite believe he's here. And he's not wearing his dress uniform, he's wearing Bajoran clothes - similar in cut to traditional Chinese wear, in a subdued gray. In his ear he's wearing one of the elaborate earrings the Bajoran's wear.

Touching the earring he says, "This and the clothes were gifts from my Bajoran friends. It seemed polite to wear them. When on Bajor, right?"

Nyota nodds and then he does smirk. Touching the bridge of his nose he says, "But I'm not going under the knife again to get the nose ridges I wore during the occupation. I don't care how naked they say I look without them."

Smiling despite herself, Nyota says, "I don't blame you."

His eyes narrow slightly and he says, "Yes, I imagine you know something about cosmetic surgery to fit in with the locals."

She keeps her smile, but it's forced. "I'm sure I don't."

He takes a breath, "No...You do know I would never joke about that with anyone else around?"

She doesn't answer, just looks at him. It is important to her safety that no one know of her involvement.

"Well, I won't," he says. "But let's talk about your basket weaving hobbies now. Anything about our friends from the Dominion?"

Of course SI has filled him in on her role and the Dominion now that he is the Commander of DS9.

Nyota sighs, takes the arm that he's suddenly put out for her, and proceeds to tell him of her inadequate data woes. He's very solicitous, asks for her opinion on DS9's communication arrays and tells her about some interesting developments he's read about in long distance probe technology. They discuss the potential for stealth buoys in the Gamma Quadrant.

Before she knows it they're at the wedding and Jim is introducing her to what seems to be half the population of Bajor's main city - and prompting them all to give examples of Romulan slang that's entered their daily lives. Bajorans are pretty easy going, and they do, telling things that make her blush and laugh in equal measure.

And then the fire ceremony begins and the jovial atmosphere changes to an expectant hush. It's beautiful and wondrous, and Nyota is sure any future obnoxious offers are completely worth it.

x x x x

Seven years and nine months after meeting Jim Kirk in a bar in Iowa, Nyota Uhura kisses him under a Bajoran moon. There is alcohol involved, but frankly not that much.

It happens like this. After the Bajoran wedding fire and water ceremony the bride, groom and guests - all 100 of them, leave the temple and join the rest of the other 250 guests outside. There is toasting, and drinking, and food - Bajoran and Cardassian. There are a fair number of Cardassians in attendance, but she and Jim are the only humans and Nyota knows it is a rare treat to be here. There is much poking fun at the smooth bridges of her and Jim's noses.

It's close to midnight when the music starts. Nyota finds herself pulled from her seat by laughing Bajoran and Cardassian women and girls. She turns her head and sees Jim dragged off with Bajoran and Cardassian men, but then she's sucked into a wild dance with the female members of the party that seems half ballet, half belly dance. Nyota loves all types of dance - and while on Bajor, right? She joins in, with happy abandon, and when the music begins to slow hours later she realizes that her cheeks hurt nearly as much as her feet - she's been smiling so much. She hasn't had this much fun...since, since forever. Not at prepatory school or the Academy certainly, she was too poor, and working too hard. And with Spock, well, Spock would have found a way to duck out before the dancing, if he'd even managed to get an invitation in the first place.

Some firecrackers go off somewhere. The group of women and girls she is in thins, and suddenly there are men there, and they're pressing their prominent nose bridges against the nose bridges of their sweethearts. Nyota even sees an old Bajoran man press his bridged nose to the nose of an elderly Cardassian woman and she laughs happily along with everyone else.

She turns her head and there's Kirk and he's got that smile again. That smile that's not a leer, or a smirk, that first assignment aboard the Enterprise smile. He raises his arms in invitation and and she shrugs, a sure, why not shrug. She's just so full of the happiness of the crowd, the spirit of the event, of life. And when on Bajor, right? Stepping right up to him she presses her forehead to his forehead, the tip of her nose to the tip of his nose, and she laughs.

And then she feels his hands on her back, not too low, and it's funny how this all feels right. Her mouth just seems to drift of its own accord to his, because they may be on Bajor, but they're still humans. It's just going to be a friendly, innocent kiss. If he thinks it's going anywhere further he's verymistaken.

As soon as their lips touch, Nyota feels a jolt through the base of her spine that doesn't feel so innocent. She shouldn't be surprised that Jim's such a good kisser, that his lips, dry, warm, not as hot as she's used to, just seem to connect so perfectly with hers, that he moves them so delicately and expertly against her own; he's had plenty of practice, after all. She shouldn't let it go to her head, or other places, really.

She expects him to slip in his tongue, and she would find that a little too much in this crowd, even if he's so good at this she's really tempted. But he doesn't do that. She feels his hand on the back of her neck and he pulls his lips away and presses his forehead to hers. It's...appropriate, maybe even sweet, and she shouldn't be disappointed.

The music starts up again, and there is the sound of cheering. The crowd is suddenly thick around them again. Nyota is pulled backwards by hands on her shoulder and small hands on her arms. She looks up at Jim's eyes, really expecting to see the leer this time, but he's not even smiling. His eyes are locked on hers, his brow is a little knotted, and he's being pulled backwards by two laughing Cardassians.

Nyota finds herself sucked into the whirlwind dance again, and it's still wonderful, and fun, and she's still smiling, but this time she finds herself trying to spot Jim in the crowd.

She doesn't really see him again until the sun is blooming on the Eastern horizon. They say their goodbyes to everyone, and Nyota finds herself on the receiving end of plenty of hugs from new friends. They're practically the only ones left when Jim turns to her and says, "Well, I guess I should take you home."

She blinks. That's it? No smirking offer of more companionship?

He brings his hand up to the back of his neck, looks away and says, "Unless -"

And Nyota smiles smugly. Here it comes, and she is so ready to say No.

But then still looking away he says, "I know this place where they have the best Lar on the planet. It's not quite open yet, but if we walk a block or so that way, and then along the beach, by the time we get there it will just be opening."

She scowls, looks down. Actually...

"That does sound...kind of nice," she says, which she doesn't mean really as yes, she's actually just speaking her thoughts aloud, because she's a little confused.

Before she can say no he takes her hand and says, "Great." As he leads her away from the wedding grounds she stares at their entwined fingers, his calloused, ruddy, and dwarfing hers; it's the only sign that things aren't quite the way that they were.


	9. (Ever) After

The walk along the beach is lovely, even if Nyota finds herself turning into a bundle of confused nerves.

They play a guessing game of where was she before she had "cosmetic surgery" - and Jim actually gets it right, Tilonias III. She tells him about her colleagues there, and he tells her about the good times on Bajor.

Jim digs into the sand at one point and pulls out what looks like a the flower of a water lily with very thick petals. He places it her hand and she laughs in shock and wonder when it suddenly sprouts legs, hops a meter into the air, and then skitters off towards the water.

She's having a fantastic time, an amazing time, but what is going on? Is this a very elaborate game of seduction? She tests him a little bit, lets herself bump his shoulder, stands a little too close when he offers her another one of those lily crabs. When she does, he doesn't move forward for another kiss like she expects. Instead he draws back.

It's quite perplexing. Maybe after their kiss he just doesn't find her that attractive? Maybe she just doesn't do it for him? Maybe she has bad breath. She runs her tongue over her teeth and delicately coughs into her hand at one point just to check.

By the time they come to the tea shop - that's the best way to describe  _House of Dutifully Steeped Lar_ , Nyota's hair has worked its way out of its bun, and windswept curls are bouncing by her temples. She finds herself in another whirlwind of introductions as she's introduced to all the Cardassians in for their morning cup.

They get a table on the veranda that looks out over the water. The temperature is perfect for humans but chilly for Cardassians, so they're alone. Up until an hour ago Nyota would have expected the campy come ons at this point, but now she doesn't know what to expect. Fullfilling the expectation to defy expectations, Jim suddenly gets really quiet and serious.

"What's wrong?" she asks. He's almost scowling, staring out at the Bajoran ocean.

"Nothing," he says. He turns to her and gives here a quick tight smile, then looks back at the ocean again. One of his index fingers taps hard at the table.

Nyota stares at it and frowns. Well, she tried. If he's not going to talk, she's not going to force it. She takes her sip of the Lar, the best she's ever tasted, and stares out at the ocean. It's beautiful. And she had a lovely night. And if she's the only woman in the galaxy Jim Kirk has decided he isn't really attracted to - because she is getting that distinct impression, well, that's sort of an honor in itself, isn't it?

"Did you have a good time last night?" he says turning to her.

Smiling at the memory she says, "Yes, I did."

Turning his head away he scowls again. "So did I."

Jim says nothing more and Nyota turns her eyes back to the ocean. Holding the cup of Lar just under her chin, she breathes in its fragrant steam. She feels utterly at peace and at home in the universe. She made lots of new friends last night, had a great time, and this moment, well it's perfect just as it is. And she's glad Jim isn't making obnoxious passes...mostly.

"Deep Space Nine won't be like a starship," Jim says out of the blue. "It's more of a small town than the tiny village of the Enterprise. Still, it's pretty close quarters."

"Mmmmmm..." says Nyota sipping her Lar.

"This thing we've got going. It's great, it's perfect, but if you aren't serious, let's just stop right now."

Nyota doesn't choke on her Lar, but it's a close call. As it is she barely manages to cough out, "Excuse me?"

Thing? They kissed, and everyone else was practically kissing, too.

His blue eyes fix on her. "I'm not going to be your rebound guy. We'll have to work together occasionally, even if we're not in the same chain of command, and I don't want it to be uncomfortable. I'm in this for the long haul. As far as I'm concerned, you're the one, done deal. But if you don't agree, just say so, we'll call it quits, no hard feelings."

Other than how it pertains to subspace signals, Nyota's a little fuzzy on wormhole physics. Could a bit of the tail end of the wormhole have wriggled it's way into Bajor's atmosphere and plunked her down in another reality, because this obviously isn't her reality.

Considering how well she knows him, suspicions of an alternate reality, and general lack of sleep, the next words out of her mouth are somewhat excusable. "Was that some sort of...seriously unromantic...weird, proposal of marriage?"

His eyes narrow, his nostrils flare a little bit, and he looks for all the world like he is genuinely insulted. "Uhura, when do I ever do things halfway? When I propose there will be a ring with a damn big rock on it."

Drawing back, Nyota blinks at the ocean.  _When._  He said  _when_.

"And  _unromantic_? I took you to a Bajoran wedding, a walk on the beach at sunrise, and have brought you to the best Lar house this side of Cardassia. Please explain how that qualifies as unromantic."

And the thing is, it was  _very_  romantic, and it was perfectly romantic for  _her_. Alien cultures and languages, dancing, easy conversation on the beach...

But here's the thing. It's Jim Kirk. He slept with nearly half her class at the Academy, and he is not the sort of man that Uhura even entertains thoughts of dating.

The sort of man she entertains thoughts of dating...

Cheated on her.

Betrayed her.

...And never once took her for a walk on the beach at sunrise.

She blinks at Jim, "You're serious?"

"Didn't I just say that?" he asks indignantly.

She takes a nervous sip of her Lar. When Jim Kirk is serious about a thing...

"I know you've got trust issues," he says. "We both have a little baggage of one type or another. Would it help if I told you the number? In the interest of full disclosure, because I'm okay with that. And I can give you names, too." He swallows. "I can mostly give you names."

"The number?" says Nyota, looking down at the tray their Lar came on, trying not to look like she doesn't know where he's coming from, even if she doesn't.

"Only 39, which is probably a little less than you expect." He looks away, "39, more or less..." He cringes. "But if you include oral, which, depending on your definition of -"

"Okay, stop!" says Nyota getting what the number is. "That's all, really, that I need to know."

Her instincts are telling her to get out of her chair and bolt.

Her instincts told her to stick with Spock.

What is she afraid of? That things won't work out? Or that they will?

She looks over at him. He's sitting next to her, looking pretty confident, actually.

Well, he's serious, she can get serious, too, and scare him right out of his boots. Narrowing her eyes she says, "I want children." That pretty much scares them all away, or so she's been told. Really, she just knows Spock. The idea of children pretty much terrified him.

He shrugs. "I like kids." Then he smirks, "Of course, I've been told I am one, by some people." He looks off towards the ocean and says somewhat melodramatically. "They'll be beautiful, intelligent...talented. They'll be half me..."

She's about to huff at that when he looks back at her and says, "But they'll be half you, too, and that will more than make up for it." He blinks at her innocently.

Despite herself she laughs.

Grinning, he says, "So...yes?"

She looks at him. He's so much different than Spock. Human, dirty blonde, ruffled and a bit rough around the edges even in dress clothes. He's fun loving too, and just plain fun - whether he's on an exotic alien world, or watching holo. But that doesn't mean he doesn't work hard, it doesn't mean he lacks depth. When it counts he is very serious. And he is _painfully_  honest...

He's still smiling but she can see him beginning to sink a little, and it occurs to her how much he's really laid it all out on the line.

She swallows. "If the question is will I marry you...right now the answer would be no."

He tilts his head, and unlike Spock she can see all the gears whirling in his mind as he digests that statement.

She licks her lips, "But if the question is, can we continue...this..." she looks around the veranda up the beach and back to him, "with the intention to explore the possibility of a future together...yes, I can...I would like to do that..." It comes out weak, and quieter than she expected, she puts her hand on table, and wraps them around her cup of Lar.

He doesn't look precisely happy.

Huffing she says, "Oh come on, you've got to give me a chance to wrap my head around this. Those are the terms, take them or leave them, Jimmie."

He leans back in his chair. "Fair enough," he says. "I accept." Then looking up at the sky, as though deep in thought he says, "Does this mean that we'll be having sex today?"

Jumping a little in her seat, Nyota rocks the table rocks. "No!"

He puts his hands on the table and just sits there grinning. Narrowing her eyes she says, "You're teasing me."

Shrugging he says, "About the sex thing, yes - well," he squints up at the sky and back to her. "Honestly, I expected you to say no, but if you said, yes...I'm adaptable." He takes a breath and says quietly, "Can I at least call you Nyota?"

Unable to repress a smile she says, "Yes."

Slipping one of his hands over hers he says, "That's better than sex."

It's terrible how those words make her go warm all over, how it makes her heart race. She glares at him, but she's still smiling.

He looks up, and then away as though confessing something shameful, "Well, for now."

She laughs a little and he says, "Well, Nyota, may I at least kiss you?"

"That would be acceptable," she says. She notices her cheeks hurting again, damn all this smiling.

Jim, bends forward in his chair and she leans into him. His free hand goes to the back of her neck, and he pulls her close, but he doesn't kiss her. Not right away. He just looks at her, like she's a lovely, precious thing. It's a long while, but when he does finally bring his lips to hers again she feels the same jolt at the base of her spine she did the night before.

She's not sure if she's going to marry Jim. Her mind is still reeling. But she is certain that whatever does happen will be fun, and that right here, in this moment, she is very happy.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this story, please check out my original stories: [Murphy's Star](http://murphysstar.tumblr.com/post/34481173086/murphys-star-free-excerpt), and my [I Bring the Fire](http://ibringthefireodin.tumblr.com/post/27868080954/fic-i-bring-the-fire-post-1) series--in which Chaos comes to Earth and feels right at home.


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